In matters of love and especially when it comes to one's own sexual needs, women, who are usually so talkative, often fall silent. Feelings of shame and a lack of sexual self-esteem leave them speechless. Sometimes women don't even know their real sexual needs. So far they have only gone along with what came from the man. However, this usually does not do justice to the sexuality of women. For example, women struggle to keep up with men in the pace and type of sexuality or to be a good lover.
A participant in a Tantra women's year (then seven weekends spread over a year) only dared to talk about her sexual mystery at the end. She complained that sex with men just wasn't nice for her. She has never had an orgasm, while she has no problems masturbating.
I then asked her how exactly she climaxes when she masturbates. The shock was on her face and it was quite a while before she was ready to confide in the protected circle of women. She confessed that she only climaxed when she was lying on her stomach and rubbing the corner of a pillow between her legs. That was the only way she could do it.
"No wonder," I wanted to encourage her, "that it doesn't work during normal lovemaking. Those are completely different movements and touches." Finally, I suggested that she bravely step through the gate of embarrassment and next time integrate the pillow during sex. "Oh no," she moaned, "I don't dare, never, never."
That's how it is for many women with their sexual idiosyncrasies. They think they are not normal and are afraid of the man's perhaps dismissive or mocking reaction. So they don't tell and show him what they really need and instead go along with things that are definitely not conducive to orgasm.
As you read this, as a woman, ask yourself: What is my pillow tip? What do I not dare to say and show? And could I step out of my prison?
And for you men: How would you feel if the woman brought the pillow to bed and explained exactly how it works? How would you react?
I really appreciate your comments and your own stories. This is how we can encourage each other and continue to grow.
You can find my full article on my blog. I'll add the link to the comments.
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