Living honestly and authentically from the start is not that easy. Here you can read the report of a young woman. She sent it to me. In women's groups we discussed what and where women could have changed something. I was almost stunned that so many women would have behaved in a similar way. If you say A, you don't have to say B. I think we can and even have to change something at any time if it's not good for us. What do you think about?
"When I went dancing with my girlfriends last weekend, I met a very promising man. He was good looking, the dancing chemistry was great, and he was very personable. I had fun and kissed him. Everything was fine, I enjoyed the beautiful encounter. Actually, that was enough for me for the moment, but I was also curious about more.
After several fully booked hotels, we finally ended up in a very small hotel room, more like a youth hostel with two extra narrow single beds. I sat down on one and it creaked in that brief moment. The magic was gone, but I couldn't just leave now, could I? I still felt like it. I stayed.
He kissed me and pulled me towards him. It's better... We undressed, but he didn't dress me. I suddenly didn't find him attractive anymore. The foreplay was so short that I couldn't really call it foreplay. But ok, maybe he would still save the situation. Wrong thought: He banged on it. I can't describe it any other way. And each time the bed creaked even louder in my ears.
My lust was at zero, if not lower. The funny thing about the situation: it didn't occur to me for a second that I too could have changed something about the situation. Like just opening my mouth to tell him what I would enjoy doing. I'm usually pretty good at that. Instead, I lay there and just endured it. I wasn't feeling bad. Strangely enough, I was somehow bored and just dissatisfied. I don't know what was wrong with me, it just had to be over as soon as possible. There was no connection between us, nothing. I didn't recognize the guy from the dance floor. He disgusted me and I still satisfied him orally. Eventually he came. Finally. was he having fun Did he notice that I didn't have one? I don't know, I didn't want to know.
After I was in the bathroom, I lay down on the other bed. At first I just wanted to sleep. In the second, I just wanted to get away. He seemed to have fallen asleep, so I quietly gathered my things and left. I felt pretty bad. Why haven't I changed anything, said nothing? I could have gone I didn't dare. The frightening and frightening thing for me is that I wasn't true to myself. I didn't take myself, my body and my heart seriously. That should never happen again. But can I gather the courage in such a situation? Hopefully."