Reproaches and accusations, i.e. attacks of any kind, harden the "fronts" in a conversation and a really loving encounter and, above all, constructive solutions are then no longer possible.
The dialogue based on Prof. Lukas Moeller attempts to outwit these relationship killers. Only one person speaks at a time, the other only listens and does not intervene.
In addition, the dialogue has other very clear rules: accusations, blame, paternalism, attacks, insults are forbidden - in other words, everything that blames the other person.
You arrange to meet at a certain time for a chat. In the short version, everyone speaks for 5 minutes. Then it is changed. You can do multiple rounds like this.
Maybe you're wondering what to talk about when you can't blame? :-) Everyone talks about themselves and their experiences.
How am I doing in our relationship at the moment? Am I missing something? do i have wishes etc. The other may give a hand signal if he/she feels attacked. Then the person speaking can check again whether they are not subtly attacking with a friendly look.
The "real" dialogue according to Prof. Moeller lasts 90 minutes. You can also do 10 or 15 minute sequences.
The short version should last 30 minutes with three rounds each. After the dialogue there must be silence. Everyone is now internally pregnant with what they have heard and said and simply lets their discomfort sink in for a while instead of hitting their partner in the face again in the form of anger.
This little "pregnancy" is very helpful. It sets in motion a process of change within each interlocutor.
The next dialogue should only take place after a week. Until then, points of conflict that arise can be noted on a piece of paper. By the time the dialogue started, some of them would have resolved themselves. The others can then be addressed.
If you want to know more about it, you can have a look at my pdf, which I once created for a women's project:
https://befree-tantra.de/fileadmin/pdf/BeFreeTantra-Zwiegespraeche.pdf
Do you know the dialogue? How do you resolve conflicts with your partner?
#relationship #love #couple relationship #tantra #happiness #happiness in love
#dialogue
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