It is in the nature of things that parents give and children take. Parents first give their children what is most precious, namely life. In addition, they usually give a lot more: They give the children food, clothing, a home, schooling and training and often even love and security that can be felt directly. Parents usually do not give everything that a child would like or think it needs. A child often suffers real deficiencies. However, in view of their own entanglement in a destiny, parents give the maximum. For most children, what they have been given is enough and later they take charge of their own lives.
If the flow of love from parent to child is interrupted, this is a disorder that also has a lasting effect on people's later ability to form relationships. If a child has not taken what the parents had to give (e.g. because it wanted more or something else), and if it therefore remains unreconciled with its life and its fate, then as an adult it tries afterwards to compensate for the lack experienced in childhood to fix.
It subconsciously assigns this task to its partner. Inappropriately high expectations of the couple's relationship are now becoming a problem because the partner cannot fill the hole that was created in childhood. He is simply overwhelmed, especially because a needy inner child makes demands and wants something from the other. An extreme need for security and tenderness easily turns the partner into a mother and suffocates the erotic love between man and woman.
If a couple keeps circling around the hope of satisfying the unfulfilled longings of childhood in the other, the couple relationship is heavily burdened and there is not much room for joie de vivre. Both are still attached to their respective families of origin in an uncomfortable way and cannot really see and engage with each other in the present.
If the parents have been able to give little, the child may later look for a partner who cannot give much either, and thus repeatedly re-enacts the familiar favorite feeling of early childhood lack.
The following sentences can bring about an innerly felt attitude and, as a result, a good solution and approval: “You are my only real parents. My life comes from you. Thanks very much. I'll take it at the price it cost you and me. You couldn't give much. But what you gave was enough. I'll do the rest myself now, in your honor!"
Are you okay with your childhood? Or are you still hoping in hindsight to get what you were missing back then? Can you say and feel the sentences?
If you want to read more about it, click here: https://befree-tantra.de/tantra-liebesschule-online/familienstellen-giving-take
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